Grocery Day Panic

"I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar! Because then, Yahoo! I'd have all my money back. "

Jack Handy, Saturday Night Live

I was spending some time with my girlfriends last night, Clipping coupons and drinking some wine. My friend resolved to saving more money this year, she explained, as she expertly organized her coupons by product and store. I made a half attempt to collect coupons for things I knew I would purchase. And then I remembered something about myself. The more I  try to save money, the faster it slips thru my fingers. Seriously.

Last year, watching a show depicting people "extreme couponing" I decided that I wanted to hoard ketchup and canned soup as well. I wanted to save our family money, and also never run out of salad dressing.  I ordered the Sunday newspaper with the ads and coupons. I clipped away and set off for the grocery store. For a few weeks straight, I tripled the family grocery budget. This, my husband suggested, was not saving us any money.

The more I try to spend less, the more I actually spend. I have a history of this sort of thing.

When I was 18 years old I went to a Mary Kay party with a coworker. I didn't want to go, because I had no money. (and no real use for Mary Kay, I lived for Cover Girl thankyouverymuch) but, I went anyway, knowing I wasn't going to find anything I was interested in.

And left with $400.00 of Anti Aging products! I believe it was a kit. A, fight those age spots and crows feet, kit! 

At 18!  

Not one shimmery pink eyeshadow or glossy lip was purchased!

Thinking about this I slap my (ironically) slightly wrinkled forehead.

Last year, while preparing for a visit from my in laws, I explained to my husband that I needed to go to the store for a gallon of milk and "various light snacks".  When they are in town fom Pennsylvania, we usually spend a lot of time eating out. There are restraurants here that they like to eat at, and we try to plan activities outside of the house so there's no real use for a house full of groceries we won't cook. I did want to be sure to have breakfast items, so we could eat before we left the house on our adventures. My typical weekly grocery budget is around $125.00 a week, give or take. Im certain my husband had this trip budgeted out at approx $11.00.

" Milk and various light snacks" totaled $227!

I spent $227 on pop tarts and ego waffles!?!?!?!

Oh, and BTW  I forgot the milk!

The second I got home I burst into tears and told my husband what had happened.  As I was being checked out I felt the anxiety and embarrassment rising, bu there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was too embarrassed to actually stop the transaction. So, I payed and drove my loot of energy bars and frozen waffles reluctantly back to my husband. Whom, might I add, is extremely good with money.  He told me he would take care of it and hopped back into the car and returned the unwanted "light snacks".

He also purchased the milk.

So......

It's a good thing that one of my only responsibilities in the home is to buy groceries? Feel free to tell this story to your significant other when you argue over spending money. Sigh.

My point?

I'm out of milk and have to go to the grocery store. 

Say a prayer for me. And my husband. 

Mostly me.